First you need some live mud crabs, preferably female and molted recently enough that the shell can be cracked open with your teeth.
You steam them with some 7-Up, like the lady vendor said. Don't add any water daw.
Start by dismembering the crab. Howl like a wolf if it feels appropriate.
Some parts are pretty agreeable. Just crack with mallet or teeth-- sometimes I use my fingers only and press really hard until I feel something break-- twist, and pull.
Other parts might need a bit of coaxing. Threatening and begging also help. You really have to commit to this endeavor. Get your hands dirty, so to speak.
I usually save the "best" for last. But now I wonder-- is the crab claw really that desirable, like the chicken drumstick? Or have we been brainwashed as children to think so? Sure, it's easy and convenient, but regarding taste... I dunno.
Three crabs, two kilograms, 600 pesos. Bought at Kalibo airport.
Note: All images here are by Bunny Rabbit. Obviously, my hands were occupied.